Apr
5
People use Flattery and Manipulation to get what they want.
This is something I just do not do. It is manipulative. I do see it happen in life though.
Flattery and Manipulation
Let’s say there is a woman who wants a man, but he is involved or some such thing. She will look for “problems” and study the man closely. Look for his needs and then “create” herself to fit the bill. or she will show her wounds of past and will try to gain his sympathy and trust.
She will play these weaknesses and then pull out all stops by stroking his ego.
He falls for it..hard. Oh my, what a buffoon. I cannot respect men who fall prey for that type of game. It does not show me a dominant or more importantly a person who does not have confidence in himself.
So, if this happens to you, then you did not have a quality man to begin with..so no big loss.
Work Situation.
A woman is successful at her job and generally well liked, but there will always be people who are jealous of her success. Perhaps, they are not competant at their own jobs, or they just jealous people who possess a vicisous natures.
So, in order to undermine the successful person they start a pernicious gossip, trying to ally various others to going against her. Some sadly will jump on the bandwagon and start to subtely rally against her. Sometimes, some manipulations are brought up the boss. If she or he is a weak character, he or she will fall prey.
Basically, what you have going on is bad office politics.
Can you see how vile this is all? When people are jealous of what others have instead of working hard to attain something for themselves, they have to take it from others in means necessary.
Keep yourself clear of this bullshit, do not attack them, but wait for the right time to make your kill of exposing them.
Pick your battles.
You know, truth does have a way of coming out evening, keep doing behaviour that has integrity and get out situations that are potentially damaging.
Let them sink themselves.
Yes, and I do sound judgemental. So what!
I mean we become people who turn a blind eye towards bad behaviour and never call them on it. Too bad that some never feel guilt or shame for their wrong doing..perhaps that is why they keep doing it..nothing clicks on in their conscience.
Not sure how they sleep at night and how they can look at themselves. Trust me, when you shine the mirror on them, they are going to hate you.
Such is the price of truth when dealing with people of that ilk.
Steps off my soapbox…enjoys my cup of TajMahal Tea! 
14 Responses to “Flattery and Manipulation”
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Sushmita Says:
April 5th, 2008 at 5:30 pmNow, I don’t want to shower the usual adjectives that seems to be a daily ritual at your blog (I don’t blame the readers, your blogs are excellent.) I had written a blog on this: Flattery v/s frankness. But Its so sad that people will tell you that you have to lick asses. Thats the key to success they’ll say.
Remember the movie ‘Guru’? I mean Gurubhai is hailed as a hero even though he had used flattery and manipulation..and people were applauding when he gave that idiotic speech at the end of the movie…
Sadly people can’t stand frankness. As my dear father says:
“If you want to live in this world, you have to be diplomatic.”
Just see the fake smiles of teachers when the Principal steps in. Flattery is as good as a murder for me.
Misanthrope !!! Says:
April 5th, 2008 at 7:30 pmHi, Its the first time I am writing to you.. whats the matter ? Appears that men are detestable, disgusting creatures for you..? or love is a psychological disorder ? You definitely know how to hit..
unpretentious_diva Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 1:03 am“If you want to live in this world, you have to be diplomatic.”
Now that’s the way the world lives and works.
But not all can bear diplomacy. Some are always straightforward. And when a straightforward person takes the path of reason, nothing can stop him/her.
I would like to mention legendary Kishor KUmar on this. He was always straightforward and never liked or did flattery in his life(as much as I have read about him.)
In his movie “Half Ticket” when he goes to face an interview for a job, he uses “maska” to get the job…as the clerk of the office where he applies says that without bribery or backing up source, or without “maska” (makhkhan) he won’t get the job.
My uncle and some of my close friends says it is one of my weakness that I cannot be diplomatic.
But then that’s how I am.
unpretentious_diva Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 1:04 am@Misanthrope
I guess you were unable to get the gist of the post.
Sushmita got it.
Anindita Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 1:18 aminteresting views!!!
keep up the good work!
Anindita.
Dragon Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 7:06 amman its true..to get ur job done people can get down to any level.Am sure every one had seen such instances atleast once..
try become something from nothing by your own..being flattered is like getting raped..
Sushmita Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 9:03 am@ Unpretentious Diva
Yes, I have that weakness too.
What is the worst thing that could happen to you?
You may lose your job,
You may lose a chance to climb up the corporate ladder,
You may be alone..
Thats not a high price to pay for your principles..
Its ok to be at the bottom of the ladder and watch the others climb it with flattery..
The tag of “unemployed” is better than the “sweet” tag
I will die alone..
People will call us fools..we know what is the secret of success but still like fools we don’t use it..
Its better to be a fool than an intelligent manipulator..
People think that flattery is a part of good communication skills! They use flattery and communication skills synonymously.
sriraj Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 1:53 pmother comments apart….i found ths very interesting…looking for somthing more of this sort frm you..
vanilla sky Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 2:47 pmit just speaks of the weaknesses of the characters on both sides
abymittal Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pmquite intriguing post and off the mainstream views..imean all thethings u have mentioned have always been there..bt nobody talked about them earlier..
u can visit my blog–
http://abhaymittal.blogspot.com/2008/04/nazar-najaane-humein-lagi-kiski.html
ricky Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 3:24 pmnice post interesting views but ya flattery has become a common mode to achieve the desired goal and manipulation………
Tina Says:
April 7th, 2008 at 8:10 amwell yeahhh most of the ppl acheive through flaterry…but then again thr are ppl who do it all by themselves..somehow ppl cnt stand it wen ur on thier faces but they xpect u to be frank and honest..i dnt knw wats the deal with that…but yeahh over all a gud post..
Cheers
Tee
Golden Vulture Says:
April 13th, 2008 at 7:42 pmhmmm straight forward post buddy … real crude way of saying things …
well there is no stopping for anyone who realize their dreams .. you have to achieve them .. by all the means you can …
of course flattery is not included in all those means .. but yes manipulation can be a part of it !!!
mind games are not always understandable …. yet for some they are just a piece of a cake !!
keep your eyes open
God Bless !!!!
~~~ Golden Vulture ~~~
waki Says:
January 8th, 2012 at 6:48 amunfortunately i diasgree.
On one level i understand you and your need to be honest with everybody. Unfortunately real life does not allow that.
I know because i was exactyly of the same mind like you and everyone was steam rolling me with bs.
Not anymore. If you want to play … now i am ready to play. You flatter me i flatter you more. But are those dear to me. very dear. to them i speak truth like an angel from heaven. and i expect the same from them.
The rest i play the cards they place on my hands.They dont care about me and I dont care about them.Now that is a very truthful thing to say.