Jun
8
“Honour killing is murder. This is a barbaric act.” [6]
That was said by a man by the name of Khalil Aswad. His 17 year old daughter Du’a Khalil Aswad was stoned to death in a mob of 2000+ people and some of those in the audience were police officials who did nothing. And what was her crime to deserve this animalistic treatment. She had fallen in love with a Muslim boy outside her Yazidi tribe.
Du’a was stripped to her undergarments and slowly stoned to death while onlookers cheered on the killers and recorded the actions on their cellphones. Du’a died slowly, the stoning lasted almost 30 minutes. In this horrific video Du’a is screaming and crying for help but there is none for her because in the eyes of her tribe she had dishonoured them all.
After her death she was buried with a dog to show that they thought she was worthless in their eyes. Her body was later exhumed for examination to see if she was a virgin. Even though it was proven that she was, it did nothing to redeem her in their eyes and her murderers went unprosecuted. Her family lives now as outcasts in their tribe.
“My daughter did nothing wrong,” Aswad said, “She fell in love with a Muslim and there is nothing wrong with that. I couldn’t protect her because I got threats from my brother, the whole tribe. They insisted they were gonna kill us all, not only Du’a, if she was not killed. She was mutilated, her body dumped like rubbish.” [6]
“To do this to their own flesh and blood was unforgivable. Forgiveness isn’t even a question. They don’t deserve to be on this Earth.” [10]
“How can someone think that kind of thing and actually do it to your own flesh and blood? It’s disgusting.” [11]
Bekhal Mahmod said those in an interview after the death of her sister Banaz. Banaz was raped, beaten, and then strangled to death by men hired by her father and uncle. Both her father Mahmod Mahmod , and her uncle, Ari Mahmod, were convicted of murder in the United Kingdom.
Banaz’s crime was simple. She had left an abusive arranged marriage and had fallen in love with someone her family did not approve of. Her family had even threatened to kill her boyfriend if they stayed together.
Banaz Mahmod disappeared on Jan 24, 2006 and her body was found buried in a suitcase in Handsworth, Birmingham three months later. The shoelace that had been used to strangle her was still around her neck.
Bekhal lives in hiding, afraid of her own family because she too had left an arranged marriage. Like her sister, in the eyes of her family she has caused great shame to the family. She will not even go outside unless she wears a full veil showing only her eyes. This is the price she has to pay to live.
“If I had realised then what she would become, I would have killed her the instant her mother delivered her.” [13]
Abdel-Qader Ali, 46, killed his 17 year old daughter on March 16, 2008 and those were his words. Rand Abdel-Qadar was stomped on by her father, strangled and then finally stabbed to death. Her mother, Leila Hussein, called in Rand’s brothers to try to help her but instead they joined and helped their father to kill her. Rand’s body was then throw into a unmarked grave without a ceremony as her uncles spat on it in disgust.
“I don’t have a daughter now, and I prefer to say that I never had one. That girl humiliated me in front of my family and friends. Speaking with a foreign solider, she lost what is the most precious thing for any woman. ‘People from western countries might be shocked, but our girls are not like their daughters that can sleep with any man they want and sometimes even get pregnant without marrying. Our girls should respect their religion, their family and their bodies.” [13]
“I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I did,’ he said, his voice swelling with pride. ‘My sons are by my side, and they were men enough to help me finish the life of someone who just brought shame to ours.” [13].
Those were his words to try to justify the horrible murder of his own daughter. And the thing that makes it worse is that he was released 2 hours after by the police. The police even congratulated him on killing her. All this because she was seen talking to a Christian British soldier in public.
Rand believed she was in love with him, and due to that she brought shame to her family’s name. Her mother watched the whole murder in horror and had the guts to leave her husband, and he beat her and broke her arm when she announced she was going.
But even Leila wasn’t able to get away. On May 17 she was gunned down just as she was about to leave to meet a person who could get her out of her country. It was an unhappy ending in this tragedy.
Honour killings are defined as generally a punitive murder, committed by members of a family against a female member of their family whom the family and/or wider community believes to have brought dishonor upon the family. [18] and more often than not a women is the victim of these honour killings. Honour killings “go across cultures and across religions.” [2]
What I have mentioned above are three examples of these killings, but there are many many more. Thousands of women are murdered each year in the name of honour for their families. The range of offensives can range from a mere allegation of infidelity, pre marital sex, flirting, or even failing to serve a meal on time. There was a case where a woman was killed by her husband because she had a dream she had betrayed him. [2]
The men who commit these murders are usually the teenage brothers of the girls because if there is legal action, they would get lighter sentences. [2] Although this is not to say that only teenage girls are the victims of these honour killings. Victims can range from pre-pubescent girls to grandmothers.
It does not matter if the women are innocent or not of the things they are accused of and killed for. The allegation alone is enough to defile a man’s honour and therefore enough to justify the killing of the women. [5] Even rape victims are often killed because they have dishonoured their families or tribes. An innocent victim of brutality at a man’s hand killed for not being able to fight back.
And are the men ever held responsible for the actions they commit. If a woman has an affair she is killed but more often than not, the man she had cheated with escape. In most countries those who commit honour killings are not punished for their acts, though now some countries such as Turkey are making honour killings illegal. Although in the wake of that there is a rise of honour suicides, when the family convinces the girl she should kill herself. [15]
People need to realize that honour killings are pathetic excuses for men to brutalize and murder women. Men are just that…men. They are not Gods and they should have no right to take the life of another person, especially a member of their own family. They may be able to get away with this in this life but they will get retribution in the next. If there is a God, there is no way he would condone the murders of innocent women.
We as a society need to move towards a change. Men and women both have the right to life and they should both have the right to live the way they want to. Men are not better than women and neither are women any better than men. We are equals and should be treated as such.
Animalistic treatment such as honour killings would not exist if people were allowed to live the way they want to. There is happiness to be found in freedom of one’s own choices and everyone should have the chance to experience that.
‘Freedom of expression for some is not enough.
We must work for freedom of expression for all.
Human rights for some is not enough.
We must work for the human rights for all.
Peace for some is not enough.
We must work for peace for all.
I, come what may, will not be silenced.
Come what may, I will continue my fight for equality and justice without any compromise until my death.
Come what may, I will never be silenced.’ “Taslima Nasreen”!
References.
1. [1]
7. [7]
8. [8]
9. [9]
10. [10]
11. [11]
12. [12]
13. [13]
14. [14]
15. [15]
16. [16]
17. [17]
18. [18]
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346 views13 Responses to “Honour Killings….the Ultimate Price Women pay for the False Male Ego”
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siddharth ranjan Says:
June 8th, 2008 at 2:47 pmthis is what we term as “sexual morality”- where the morality of a person is judged based on how, where and with whom s/he makes love.
this is disgusting and what is more this retrograde practices are passed under the gurb of culture and divinity.
shruti singh Says:
June 8th, 2008 at 3:41 pmits really difficult to know that educated people end up killing their daughters and sisters just because they fall in love with someone they don’t approve of..
Its absolutely sad to read of such stories and experiences. I pray that the world becomes sensitive to us.
kUMar VIkAsh Says:
June 8th, 2008 at 3:50 pm..some People enjoy doing this, they r sick, they hasn’t left any feelings inside.. their heart.
..others bussy in their life to make living better.
…some of them want to change it, but they r helpless at some extent,
..they look towards others to stop this insane acts.
..nd the one who can stop it the one who doing it.
Sushant Says:
June 8th, 2008 at 6:36 pmFrom the dawn of the civilization man has left no stone unturned to make sure they control the society. If we look around all the social rules, customs and traditions have been made to keep the women as a second grade citizen and this is not unique to any particular country society or religion. Its bloody universal. Even in our own country where we worship women as devi their fate is no better. Domestic violence, non existent property rights, female infanticide, dowry everything is against the women. Recently a couple in Haryana were murdered by the girl’s father and their dead body kept for display in the courtyard to free the family from the dishonor . Their crime they fall in love and were from the same village. When the hell is it going to stop.
I wish god would have made a more equitable world but its now our responsibility to fight for individual liberty in whatever way we can. We should not let this continue and the youth I hope will work towards it.
achilles rashmeyer Says:
June 8th, 2008 at 9:42 pmI feel the term honour killing is misnomer,it’s more of a fearkilling,a fear of unknown,the effect of centuries of cultural erosion,how come such an act termed to be for honour ,
ERS Says:
June 9th, 2008 at 12:24 amShandi, thank you for blogging about this. You did a lot of research on this piece!
I, too, would like to see the international community step up and insist on gender equality (not empowerment, because that is a euphemism for keeping us still “less than,” but actual equality). There are ways of addressing the dishonor killings issue, but the political will seems to be lacking.
Ellen R. Sheeley, Author
“Reclaiming Honor in Jordan” http://www.redroom.com/author/ellen-r-sheeley
samay Says:
June 9th, 2008 at 1:10 amAn excellent post, really expressed well
There are however certain issues that I would like you to ponder, firstly is honour killing really an outcome of false male ego. You have brought in a gender bias in the issue however honour killing/crimes are more of a socio-cultural /religious phenomenon. There has been instances of men too being killed for the very same reasons. There is an active organisation run by women in kashmir which does a similiar honour and moral policing. There has been a incidence in Harayana wherein both parents mother and the father of the victim girl approved the killing of the boy and the girl because they married in the same gotra. Ofcourse there is no denying that womens get victimised more than men for the simple reason that they are unable to defend themselves even in a one to one situation (one victim one assilant scenario )
These crimes can be rather termed as the crimes of society/ community over an induvidual. The rules and regulation of the community so stringent that the induvidual have to pay the price of voilating it by his/her life is rather inhumane. The communities right in this regards must end with acceptance of an induvidual as a part of ther community or not and nothing more. Better put, the induvidual must have the right to be a part of a community or not.
Other issue is the issue of freedom, the post invokes in me a question that are we really free. We are frome the childhood fed a set of right and wrong, these religious and cultural biases wedged in our mind so deep that we become incapable of thinking beyond them. Such henious crimes invoke a sense of honour and piosness in the mind of the person than a sense of guilt. The society in which they live accepts the crime as a good deed. Is there a way out of this really? Foundation of free society or rather free induvidual has to be laid at a very grass root level…
Teach not your kid what is right and what is wrong
Teach him to see and not what to see
Let his mind be free,
Of biases and prejudices that you carry along
Give him the rationale and not the judgement
Teach him how to walk but not which path to take
If you have taught him well, path he would sure for himself make
For, though he is born to you, he is free…and not your servant
Neither to the society or customs to which you are bound
So if you can, set him free…
More than anything the baggage you carry…
Rohan Says:
June 9th, 2008 at 4:00 amI personally try very hard not to hate any kind of people in this world as every one is unique and everyone has their good and bad points. But its the people like these who make that task impossible. A person who cannot respect a woman has to be a person who has no self respect at all. And a person who cannot respect life doesn’t deserve to be alive. There is only one word for such people ” Lunatics”. They blindly follow whatever was told to them without using their head. They escape the act by talking about tradition and culture. Who are they to punish others and take a life. Uneducated morons.
Shandi Says:
June 9th, 2008 at 4:01 pm@Siddharth
I agree, the fact that traditions like this are passed on from generation to generation is disgusting. The thing that is worse is that people just accept these traditions without questions. But there is one thing i would like to point out, in two of the cases i mentioned both Rand and Du’a were virgins. So sexual morality is not the only thing these actions are based on.
@Shruti
Up until a few days ago i had no ideas that things like this were even occuring, so needless to say i was shocked by what i read. Growing up i was told i was always be able to love whomever i wanted and it saddens me that not all women around the world do notget the same freedom. Although i know it will take more than prayer for the changes to occur, as long as people are aware im sure change will come slowly.
@Kumar
The power to stop these kind of actions is, like you said in the hands of those who wont. The police usually look the other way and it is only rare cases where the murderers get prosecuted. Very few people are sent to jail and when they are the sentances are light. There was one case i read when a man was forced to kill his 17 year old sister even though he didnt want to. His entire community turned against him leaving him with no choice but to kill his own sister.[1] all this shows is that change has to be wanted or else it wont suceed.
@Sushant
The sad thing about the keeping women as ’second-grade’ citizens is that it has been happening so long that so many people, women included, accept it without question. And this is not something new, since the beginning of civilizations women have been placed in the home as child bearers and under the control of the men who ran the house. With each new generation changes are being made, small little changes but obviously they are not happening fast enough. For many societies though, change is not something they can accept.
@Achilles
well they call it an honour killing because they think that their honour is at stake. But in truth it is nothing but a pathetic excuse to keep control of the women in their lives. When the women do something agaisnt men in their lives the men say they have been dishonoured and kill them. There is no honour in it, they kill the women because they are embarrassed to have lost control and thats all it is.
@ERS
There are many countries in which there are laws agaisnt Honour killings but those who should be enforcing the laws, such as the police, turn a blind eye to it. There is speculation that many law officials in some countries recieve bribes so that they overlook these murders. People trust their fate in the hands of police that could care less about anything other than a paycheck. The only way things will change is if the law takes things into their own hands. Both political and law officials have to realize they power they have and, if they used that power correctly, that there would be changes in leaps and bounds for equality.
@Samay
Although i wrote the article to show that many more women are victimised than men are i am well aware that it is not just one sided. In fact in alot of the cases i read, the women in the family often support honour killings. In 1999 Samia Sarwar was shot and killed by a man her mother had hired.[9] Rukhsana Naz was strangeld to death by her mother and her brother. [4] The fact is though that the killings happen in societies dominated by men. Even you cant deny that. The communities follow the path men have laid out for generations. So while i did not mean to make the article seem one sided or bias agaisnt men, it is just the way it is.
As for the other thing you said about freedom. I agree with what you said and that is how i plan to raise my kids some day. So that they and only they are accountable for the life they live.
@Rohan
You are wasting your time hating these people. It is in ignorance that they move forwards with their lives. The people who should deserve your anger are the leaders of these kinds of communities, the educated ones who use false facts and twist texts from holy books to make their points. It is them who lead the ignorant and make them blind to their own sins.
So do not hate the ones who do things like this, hate the people who have the power to change things and make our society better but yet do nothing.
Sam Says:
June 14th, 2008 at 11:11 am@Everyone: What we’re seeing here is the lack of openness and blind faith and beleif in age old traditions and beleif of a so called Family pride. What kind of person would have his own daughter raped and killed in front of his very eyes, no matter what religion or tribe he is from? Hasn’t he cared and nurtured her for many long years and can’t forgive or forget or let her lead the life she wishes to? Any child, girl or boy, should be accountable for the life he or she leads. The fact that the parents are taking offence because their children are falling in love with people from other castes, or in some cases simply even talking to them proves their ignorance and disbeleif at the existance of other religions and even, people who generally have different viewpoints apart from themselves. Should they really resort to murder, rape and public flogging to regain their so called ‘Lost honour’? Such customs and traditions must be abolished and the child allowed to marry or fall in love with whomever he or she consents with. I know that this post does seem biased against men, but I am talking as a man and find these acts disgusting and would not respect anyone who thinks otherwise. So what if the men are the reason these customs and traditions have come into place? We men should work harder to abolish what he have started then. We should strive to creat a better world for everyone, if nothing else, for our children. Respect for women is something sorely lacking in the such places and we must first educate these people in its importance. These acts are inhumane at best and such people should be given the most severe punishments. Sadly, the countries or places where they stay actually praise such behaviour and unless this is brought into international limelight, I’m afraid not much can be done individually. But excellent that you’ve brought it to the eyes of a couple of well meaning people and others please comment and post your views.
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Ruchi Sharma Says:
July 11th, 2008 at 8:26 pmI was reading the other article ‘Human Sacrifice’.
I agree that until the redundancy of religious hardliners won’t be dispersed or removed, such brutal crimes against humanity cannot be checked out.
They spread like contagious illness.
See, even america is facing such henious cimes, and what is the reason?
the same old bigoted thought processing.
<a href=”http://www.libertyforum.org/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=news_news&Number=296345751&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=21&part=1&vc=1&t=0″><b>Honor Killing in Georgia</b></a>
Theres allot path to cover before any real idea of liberty or anarchy can be dreamt off.
As this site is influenced with Ayn rand’s ideals, I would like to put up one of her very famous quote–
“When man learns to understand and control his own behavior as well as he is learning to understand and control the behavior of crop plants and domestic animals, he may be justified in believing that he has become civilized.”
I solely believe that no matters how much we defend liberty or call for various forms of anarchy, Human is yet not evolved to be called as civilized, such crimes are the basic examples of this fact. Theres allot path to be covered.
When you people discuss about anarchy, do you forget that even a human, a girl or a boy is not even free to choose his lifemate?
natalie Says:
July 24th, 2008 at 2:01 pmI’m sorry but most of these comments are too advanced for me, and I simply can’t relate to it. Here’s what I think, plain and simple. Have you ever noticed, the more “advanced” we’re getting, the more we’re turning into animals?
It’s really very simple. Look at humans, look at us … the thing that sets us apart from animals is that we have a conscience! Why are we throwing that away? Is it really so easy to kill a person? So easy to ignore the bond we share, our memories, our love? For honour? If a person was innocent or not, would any of us really be able to commit murder?
Is everyone capable of it? Where’s that little voice inside that screams “NO!”?
A father killing his own daughter … how did it become possible? How did it become so easy?
I thought this was coming to an end, I thought we were becoming better … and after reading this, I feel so sick, so raw.
Shandi, thanks for bringing this to attention.
It’s hard to digest but only if we are aware of things like this can we be ready to defend our fellow sisters.